


Spanner's Heart

by cgf_kat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Biblical History (Abrahamic Religions), Castiel has too much heart, Castiel's Past, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone is in heaven, F/M, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post Series, Protective Castiel (Supernatural), Spanner in the works, anyone is game to show up, this is why we love him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:01:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29016279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cgf_kat/pseuds/cgf_kat
Summary: “How many times have you torn into my head and washed it clean?”“Frankly, too damn many. You’re the famous spanner in the works. Honestly I think you came off the line with a crack in your chassis. You have never done what you were told. Not completely.”In the years since Castiel learned what Naomi did to him, he has tried to forget. If he can never know what—or who—she might have taken from him, and he can't change what happened, is it reasonable to dwell on it? He has a family now, and his own will. Does it matter anymore?When Jack returns from his travels with news that he may be able to return those memories, Cas is faced with the reality that there may be other humans in Heaven he once cared for.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel & Jack Kline & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Spanner's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely Supernatural TikTok's fault.

The first time Castiel met Naomi, the largest part of him welcomed her particular brand of help. 

Below on Earth, the rains fell and the great flood rose. The righteous man Noah and his family were safe on the Ark as it rose with the waters. But around it, animals and humans alike were dying and none could enter now.

Castiel would know. He closed the door himself.

He watched the panic and did nothing. As he was ordered to. Invisible and helpless. Until he couldn’t. 

He had spent decades here, at the site of the building of the great boat. Part of the garrison assigned to protect Noah and his family. He knew these people who lived nearby. He had seen their children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren be born. He knew their struggles and their joys. He knew that most of them were wicked, but the children? 

When the people ran some of the parents took the time to hoist up their offspring, but some...did not. They abandoned them as they ran from the waters, leaving them terrified and alone. 

Castiel knew these children, even if they did not know him; they had never seen him. He knew the adolescent boy who tried to corral some of the younger ones together. Who tried to usher them to higher ground. This boy who was doing more than even his own parents, even in his terror. 

And something inside Castiel ached. Something that had always been there. When he could ignore it no longer he reached out to the boy. He offered his help, promised to save him and the youngsters in his charge, and the boy let him in. 

It was his first human vessel, and already he was defying orders. He thought, perhaps, that Uriel would have found it funny, if anyone would. The only angel he knew with a sense of what the humans called humor. But there was no time to dwell on it. 

“Hold onto one another!” he called, in the boy’s cracking voice, in these people’s native tongue. 

He held onto as many as he could, and they held onto the others. It took everything he had, but somehow he whisked 14 children to a cave at the height of one of the tallest mountains. No human could have reached it, even climbing. 

They asked him what had happened. Where were they? How had he saved them? To them he was the same boy from their village they’d known all their lives; how could he have done such a thing? Castiel didn’t answer. How would they understand? It would have been hard enough to explain to adult humans. He was panting besides, slumped against the cave wall. He felt so warm...like his vessel’s skin was tight, itching. 

He couldn’t remain in this vessel for long. The boy was strong, but he was young, and after the power it had taken to bring these children here…

And now what, anyway? Hadn’t they been told that the waters would reach above even the highest mountains?

“God saved us,” he managed, eventually, as if he were the boy he was possessing. It was close enough to the truth without giving away that he wasn’t who he thought he was.

Speaking the way they did was so strange. Being physical was strange. 

“Which one?” one of the other boys asked.

“I’m sorry?”

But then he remembered. The other people of the valley had their own gods. False idols. They didn’t know what he meant. They didn’t know what was happening. He did his best to keep them calm, pulling them back when they tried to find the entrance to the cave. They didn’t need to see what was happening outside. If they could even see anything from this height. 

The air was thin, affecting his vessel’s energy even further and slowing the other children too, but Castiel found the fortitude to sing. A soft rendition of an angelic hymn. He was sure they could scarcely hear him over the range of the storm outside, but still, it seemed to help. 

What now?

“We cannot save these children, Castiel.”

The vessel that appeared beside him was a woman from the valley, but he knew the angel within it. Not just a colleague, not just his flight commander, even, but the captain of their garrison herself. One of the few of them to have already taken a vessel, some time ago. 

The children were gasping, drawing away, but for two of the smallest who still clung to him. One of them was the younger sister of his vessel. 

“Anna...but why? They’re only children, and their wicked parents are gone. Surely they could be raised to fear the Lord; to do what is right!” 

He hadn’t thought it when he went to them. He had scarcely thought at all—only that they were innocent and he did not want to watch them die. Now it was the first real argument that came to him, but wasn’t he right? 

“I know it’s difficult, but they aren’t part of the plan. The generations of the future must come through Noah’s sons.”

The children were starting to cry, and with a snap of her fingers, every one of them collapsed. Castiel cried out, wordlessly, but Anna assured him they were only sleeping. 

“For now,” she said. “You have to end this.”

“I said I would save them…”

“You have. You’ve saved them from a worse death. You can give them a quick end. I’m sorry, but that is all we can do. I understand your...feelings.”

Castiel blinked. “Is that...what this is?”

A hand on his shoulder, and Anna’s gentle voice. “Yes. If you spend enough time among humans, they can happen. I understand. But we can’t change the plan. It’s not our place to question.” Something in her face made him believe her. She did understand.

The young sister of his vessel had wilted in his arms. He clung to her for a long moment, but in the end, he lowered her obediently to the ground. That something...that something in him still ached, but of course Anna was right. This was foolishness...wasn’t it?

“Now go. I’ll stay to see to them,” Anna ordered. “I promise you they will feel no pain.”

I am sorry, he thought. He hoped the boy could hear him. 

When Castiel let go, he was home. It was a part of heaven he had never seen before, and an angel he had never met awaited him. 

That first time, Naomi was kind. She told him she could take it all away. He wouldn’t remember the children or the ache that had compelled him to help them. He wouldn’t even remember her, or what she was about to do. He would be as he was before. He would be assured and confident again.

That first time, Castiel welcomed the relief. 

He wasn’t given a choice, but if he had been he would have chosen to forget.


End file.
